


Finding Cas

by wookieefucker



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-26
Updated: 2012-03-26
Packaged: 2017-11-02 13:24:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/369441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wookieefucker/pseuds/wookieefucker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written pre 7x17 as a way for me to deal with my angsty Cas feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding Cas

Sometimes it was soft, and sweet, and very loving. Not always, though. Honestly, it usually wasn’t. Usually, it was hard and fast. It was rough and tumble, biting, sucking, and large hickeys left in plain sight. Castiel didn’t mind either way, if we’re still being completely honest. However it happened, he was still with Dean. Or, he had been. Before.

Before, when he hadn’t taken in Purgatory in like a sponge, and when he hadn’t betrayed his friends. His family. Dean. He had betrayed Dean, and he knew it. He also knew that Dean wouldn't and hadn’t forgiven him, and that hurt the most, even though Castiel knew that he didn’t deserve that forgiveness.

He frowned, and turned, pacing across the floor yet again. He wasn’t trying to remember the bad. No, Castiel was trying to remember the good, the great, the amazing that was Dean Winchester, and his time with him. Castiel was trying to forget, just for a bit, that Dean wasn’t here, that he didn’t want him any longer, and the one thing that kept dragging at the angel; that he was completely alone.

Suddenly someone began knocking at the door loudly and hurriedly, and Castiel stopped his pacing, instead hurrying toward the door. Maybe there was someone he could help, healing or otherwise. Maybe he could pay some penance for all of the bad he had inflicted on this world. Castiel jerked open the door, and froze. Whatever he may have been expecting, a somber looking Dean Winchester is not one of the things on that list.

After Castiel had stood frozen in the doorway for what seemed like hours, Dean shoved past him and into the house. “Gonna invite me in, man?” Castiel turned towards him, blinked once, and his head tilted slightly to the side. Dean smiled at him, a real smile, one that Castiel had not seen since before the apocalypse. He then nodded, and shut the door, turning again to face Dean. 

Gesturing towards the couch, Castiel then sat down in an armchair himself, before waiting. Dean was here for a reason. He just needed to know what it was. He stifled the voice inside of him telling him to beg Dean’s forgiveness on his knees, and to beg the man before him to take him back. He sat still, waiting. He would find out what Dean needed, and then try not to suffer, and waste away into nothing when he left. How could he not leave, when all of what Castiel had done was so glaringly obvious?

Dean cleared his throat and sat down, looking at Cas intently for a bit. He tried to break that steely expression, and determine what his angel was thinking, but he couldn’t do it. He rubbed the back of his neck before just deciding to cut to the chase. “It’s Sam,” he said simply. Cas nodded, and Dean, confusedly, thought he could see resignation in the slump of his angel’s shoulders.

“Let’s go,” Cas said.


End file.
